Turning in this final revision was a bit of a struggle. After my conference with Jesse, I realized that stripping down my story wouldn’t just help my story evolve, but me as well. I talk a lot about vulnerability when it comes to writing, and this revision might be a whole new step. I practically weaved my old story in with a new one, but the new section was so easy to write. I actually made an outline… yes Professor Miller did you hear that, I repeat I made an outline. If that doesn’t show growth right there then I don’t know what does. I expanded my horizons with this story a little, but something I tried to do with the ending, which was way out of my comfort zone was remove a lot of overly detailed words. My sentences were broken like I imagined Essie’s thoughts would be, the sentences were short like I imagined her breaths would be like, and the pain, I really hope that came across strong. This is going to sound crazy, but I’m really proud of this story. I know that a lot of students told me to keep the gore, but Jesse said this was my race and I think I just crossed the finish line. I may not have ended up in first, but I think I made it in the top ten. I’ve never felt this way about a story, but removing the bedazzle I sprinkled on top of the realism really created a whole new level that my brain didn’t want to realize. I also think that having my conference with Jesse was eye opening in general as a writer. Don’t get me wrong I loved the workshop that accompanied my piece, but I felt like there wasn’t anything given that could make my story grow. Being honest (and vulnerable) at my conference really helped me evolve this story into something that I’m scared to share with the world and quite honestly this is something I want to send out in a mass email to as many people as I can. I don’t know how to explain this revision process in words, but all I can say is that I’ve never been proud of a piece of work I’ve written like I am with this one.