These are examples of the first few steps in my revision process for my final project. I have been using a fine toothed comb to go through my story in order to find its strengths and weaknesses. This type of editing was done before my meeting with my mentor: Jesse Miller After the meeting, my story will have a whole new look.

During my meeting, Jesse advised me to expand my characters, hence the note at the bottom of that last page. Through further research, I will be able to decide the best way to write and go about this idea.

The problem with my original story is that it is too contained and as a write, I need to be able to build a setting. My camera lense is following one character, but in a confined space, which limits the capability for my story to blossom. My characters are two dementional and limited growth. When the growth does come into play, it is sudden and abrupt, something of a movie scene, not a short literary fiction story.

In my revision process, I will be reworking the lense of the camera angle. I will also being doing a deep dive into who Hazel is as a character and how her past has impacted her present timeline.